Your fears.
I wouldn't say that I have any serious fears of heights or spiders or anything. I can go up in high buildings without being paralyzed by fear, I can kill a spider with a shoe after a small scream, it just all depends on the situation and how old I am.
When I was really young I was really scared of ghosts and things you couldn't see. My mom used to watch Unsolved Mysteries and I spent most of the time with my hands over my eyes. Even the theme song to this day gives me chills. The biggest thing that scared me when I was little was the upstairs of our house. Now our house isn't that old, it was built in 1976, and it was owned by only one other family than us that lived here for maybe 3 years. When I was very small it wasn't as big as it is now and we slept in the upstairs bedrooms. But when I was in second grade we added on and started sleeping in bedrooms downstairs because my Grammy's knee got bad and she couldn't go up the stairs so often. After we moved out of upstairs it took on an attic-like quality. There was lots of stuff up there, including a play room for me, but it just started to feel creepy. I wouldn't go up there at night by myself and even when someone went with me I would literally run back down the stairs. You could just feel something was watching you or about to grab you. In high school my friend Nicole was skeptical about all this, so her and I went up there and just stood quiet for about a minute, and then we both ran down the stairs. There was just a goose-bumpy feeling that came over you. In high school I'd have these Christmas parties and the Ouija board never worked better than upstairs in the loft room. After my Grammy passed away the upstairs didn't have such a creepy feeling anymore. If there were ghosts living up there we'd like to think that Gram kicked them out. Probably standing like she did at the cabin with her hands on her hips telling them that this was her property. :)
Now as an adult the thing that I am most afraid of is losing people and the thought of being alone. It was a hard time when we lost my Gram and my immediate family seems to be getting smaller and smaller. People move away and move on and those of us that don't move away from home get that left behind feeling. I wouldn't say it's regret or envy of those who've moved on, just loneliness at all the people you used to see and things you used to do that have ended. That's why we have to be brave and face the biggest fear in life, the fear of the unknown. It's not something I deal with very well, but if I can swallow that fear and take the big steps then the rewards will be worth it.
2 comments:
Well now. Those are some very lovely, reasonable, rational fears you outlined there.
But I know you better than that!
You DO have an irrational fear, for all you'd like to pretend you don't.
Shall we cue some booming thunder m'dear? :)
Geeze! When I was blabbing on I didn't even think of that. Perhaps it could be that it only thunders about once a year around here, if that. Wonder why that is? *Maniacal laughter while tapping fingers together*
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